I wish my penis had an off switch
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize