Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
