The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
