The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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