He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
