can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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