If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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