my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
