But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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