Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
