if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
