like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
