belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
