Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
