Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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