My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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