idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
