can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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