It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
