dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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