I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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