everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
