your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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