We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
