I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize