So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she told me i tasted like america
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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