My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
