i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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