I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
