They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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