i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
