I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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