If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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