What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
