Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
