I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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