I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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