Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
