I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
