But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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