I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
