Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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