i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
from now on my penis is your penis
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
time to smoke my breakfast
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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