remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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