Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i was born a porn star she said
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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