It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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