Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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