I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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