I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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