"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
