I bet he comes in French.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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