I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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