love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
