Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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