The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
