just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
