i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
