I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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