OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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