Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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