Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
