Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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