im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have so many feelings about this burrito
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
