I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize