i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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