Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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