Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
