I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.