Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...