You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.